A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
What do you call a barking pumpkin?
A gourd dog.
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope, so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
Sorry kids - we won't be carving pumpkins this year... Sorry to squash your enthusiasm.
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? When you drop it; then it's squash!
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
My dad said he wanted to steal a pumpkin
but all the stores were well-gourded.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
You don't know jack-o-lantern
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
I'm the pun King of Halloween.
What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin!
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
I just watched someone try to steal a pumpkin from a bull.
He got gourd.
Pumpkin Spice season is finally here, better latte than never.
What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other? Cut it out!
This Halloween I'm gourd out of my mind!
