What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
I like you a latke!
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
I love you a tot!
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.