Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
I like you a latke!
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
Potato puns are a-peeling.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
I love you a tot!
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato