What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
I like you a latke!
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
I love you a tot!
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
We’re a perfect mash.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
