What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
We’re a perfect mash.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
Potato puns are a-peeling.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
I love you a tot!
Time fries when you’re having fun!
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
I like you a latke!
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.