What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
We’re a perfect mash.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
I love you a tot!
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
I like you a latke!
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.