Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
Q: What’s a nectarine?
A: A peach with balding problems.
I met him yesterday, he was on his way to meet the counselor for a peach therapy session.
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
Interesting fact: A nectarine can also be a peach if it does not have peach fuzz.
"Personally, I like people who peach on time, and are always punctual," said the strawberry.
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
This special peach school is for those Peach kids who are suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
My banana grandad got in an accident last year, he bruised like a peach!
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
Q: Why did the fruit finish her homework so quickly?
A: Because the homework was a peach of cake.
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
What did the Catholic Nectarine Priest say to the church? Peach be with you. It was a normal thing to hear from the pul-pit.
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
Whenever the peach father gets mad at his son, he just screams loudly: “You are the son of a peach!”
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
Q: Why did the fruit go to the salon?
A: To peach her hair blonde.
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.