After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
When I got mugged on my way back from the greengrocers, I was peach-less!
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
Unlike peaches, nectarines don't have any fuzz, because they suffer from Alo-peach-ea.
The fruit started to stutter as it was suffering from peach deterioration.
Q: Why did the fruit finish her homework so quickly?
A: Because the homework was a peach of cake.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
The peach sports organization rended a commercial peach for a game of peach ball.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
Whenever the peach father gets mad at his son, he just screams loudly: “You are the son of a peach!”
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
What's a vampire's most favorite fruit? It must be a neck-tarine peach.
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
The peach couple from school is totally in love. They seem so perfect for peach other.
Mom: Why did you shave the peaches!
Dad: The recipe asked for nectarines.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
My banana grandad got in an accident last year, he bruised like a peach!
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
I don't like cutting up a peach. I think it's because of the pits.
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
Where do you put nectarines when you want to freeze them? Inside the peach-zer.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”
Why was the peach so sad at the funeral? It left a deep pit in its heart.
One should always practice what they peach.
What song was the peach listening to? 'Stronger with Peach Tear'.