What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
Whenever the peach father gets mad at his son, he just screams loudly: “You are the son of a peach!”
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
One should always practice what they peach.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
The fruit stutters because it suffers from a peach impediment.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
Mom: Why did you shave the peaches!
Dad: The recipe asked for nectarines.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
Unlike peaches, nectarines don't have any fuzz, because they suffer from Alo-peach-ea.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
My banana grandad got in an accident last year, he bruised like a peach!
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
Who does the nectarine just do a hair transplant? Because it wants to become a peach.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
Where do you put nectarines when you want to freeze them? Inside the peach-zer.
An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
I don't like cutting up a peach. I think it's because of the pits.
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
Q: Why did the fruit go to the salon?
A: To peach her hair blonde.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
What song was the peach listening to? 'Stronger with Peach Tear'.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
Wondering about a peach's favorite sci-fi novel? It's 'When You Peach Me'.
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
Why does it take a while before a peach leaves a fruit basket? They have to give a goodbye peach first.