You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens