Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
