What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.