Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.