I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.