Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette. They call it “Nico-tang”
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
“Look round!”
What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
What’s an orange’s favourite animal? An orange-utan.
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
The oranges have great eyesight because they always keep their eyes peeled.
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
Which language do oranges use to speak to each other? Mandarin.
What do oranges like to listen to?
Musical com-peel-ations.
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
What did the orange say before jumping into the juicer?
“The zest is yet to come!”