The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!