An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her