What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
