Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.