My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.