My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
