Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.