What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!