Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk