What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.