Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.