Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye