What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.