What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Some people say popcorn is hard to chew. There’s a kernel of truth to that.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
"On cloud wine."
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
Why did the hare go to the taco truck?
He couldn't beat the tortas.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice.
Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
Having chicken broth before the game was a sure shot way to maintain energy for the Soup-er Bowl.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before i leave the house
How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
Why did I start making a cherry pie? Bake-cause I love it.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
Who does the nectarine just do a hair transplant? Because it wants to become a peach.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.