What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
A turkey's favorite dessert is a strawberry gobbler.
What kind of evidence can a donut not take to trial?
Anecdoughtal evidence.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Why was Officer Peanut Butter out in the road? Because he was directing a traffic jam.
What did the pickle say to the lemon?
I relish our time together
What did the banana say to the monkey? Nothing, bananas can't talk!
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
What do prison tennis matches and strawberry jam have in common?
Cons-serve
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
What did one cherry say to the other cherry? If you weren't so tasty we wouldn't be in this jam.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Why does the jellybean go to school? Because he wants to become a smartie.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
What do vets call a paralyzed squirrel? A busted nut.
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make ? Slippers
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night
It was not real food, it was an impasta.
What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require a chickpea.
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
“I only like lemons,”
Said Michael zestfully.