My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
