My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.