Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.