How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.