What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.