What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
