Cheese Puns

I hope we're not being too cheesy when we say you're gouda love our cheese puns!

Cheese Puns

What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.