What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!