You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
"What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?" "I want you inside me!"
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
How do you make dog bread? You use collie flour.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
You knead me in your loaf.
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.