Did you hear the one about the watermelon pirate who went to the Caribbean? Must have desperately wanted to catch some arrgh and arrgh.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
“Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)”
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
“When you eat a watermelon!”
Why did one melon break up with the other melon?
“He didn’t know water problem was.”
Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
I always wondered why the watermelon loving librarian never touched any of the books; turns out she’d red them all.
So, how on earth did the police catch the watermelon thief without a solid description? Don’t really know; guess the bloke was acting seedy.
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.