What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
Did you hear the one about the watermelon pirate who went to the Caribbean? Must have desperately wanted to catch some arrgh and arrgh.
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
What excuse did the late watermelon give his boss? He said be there in 5 boss, I’m just rind the corner.
Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?
“They’re seedy.”
I hear Jake finally broke up with his crazy grocer girlfriend; never could tell water problem was.
Why does every watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because there’s a lot of watermelon smashing to be done.
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”