I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
I hope for world peas.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
I think therefore I yam.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
I yam what I yam.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.