How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.