And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.