What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.