"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett