“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
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