“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous