"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
“I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there."
- Jim Gaffigan
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml