"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
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