“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
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