“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
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