“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
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