“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio