“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
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