“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
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