"Sometimes you just need to lie on the couch and read for a couple of years."
“Yes, I deserve a spring – I owe nobody nothing."
– Virginia Woolf
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”
- Ann Landers.
“Fan the sinking flame of hilarity with the wing of friendship; and pass the rosy wine.”
— Charles Dickens
“A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else.”
– Len Wein
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“The learned fool writes his nonsense in better language than the unlearned, but still ‘this nonsense.”
– Benjamin Franklin
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
"As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer." - Robert Quillen"
"I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I’ve done my job." – Roseanne Barr
“An instructor once gave the following cue in yoga class: “Relax your pancreas.” I don’t even know where my pancreas is, never mind how to relax it! I giggled for the rest of the class.” – Mel Farrimond
“The biggest thing I remember is that there was just no transition. You hit the ground diapering.”
- Paul Reiser.
“Welcome, winter. Your late dawns and chilled breath make me lazy, but I love you nonetheless. ” — Terri Guillemets
"Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough"
"People who wonder if the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable."
Did anybody ever consider that cannibalism would resolve both overpopulation – and world hunger?
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
“Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.”
- Paul Reiser.
"I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide."
- Jerry Seinfeld
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
"I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money."
- Arthur Godfrey
“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”
- Marcelina Hardy
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
"Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all." — David Lynch
“A day without yoga is like a sundae without sprinkles” — Emma Mildon
“I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.”
- Walt Disney
"The best part of waking up is still a mystery to me."
— Uknown
“Lots of people talk to animals... Not very many listen though... that's the problem.”
― A.A. Milne.
"Being a good husband is like being a standup comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner." — Jerry Seinfeld
"It's rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud."
From an Adidas ad
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." — David Sedaris
“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.”
– Carl Reiner
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
"There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach." — Barbara Hower
"A good run is like a cup of coffee. I'm much nicer after I've had one."
Unknown
“How can something so small create so much of something so disgusting?”
- Michael, ‘Three Men And A Baby.’
"I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty."
Wendy Liebman
“You know, maybe this will be a good Thanksgiving. Just us and the kids. You cook and I’ll watch football with my pants open all day.” — Ray Romano, “Everybody Loves Raymond”
A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip. -- Billy Graham
“Some mornings I wake up grouchy. Other mornings I just let him sleep.”—Unknown
“I just want to be friends. Plus a little extra. Also, I love you.” - Dwight Schrute, 'The Office'
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
Go to BabaMail
