“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." - Steven Alexander Wright
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
George Carlin
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
Sigmund Freud
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.”—Orlando Aloysius Battista
I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.
Jarod Kintz
“It is a grave error to assume that ice cream consumption requires hot weather.”
- Anne Fadiman
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
“Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun.”—Stephanie Ortiz
“I never realized how annoying I could be until I created a miniature version of myself and started arguing with it daily.” — Anonymous
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins
“I married for love but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored.”—Cameron Esposito
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Noel Coward
“Mother Nature is providential. She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.”
- William Galvin.
"Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all." — David Lynch
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
"If it costs you your peace of mind, you’ve overpaid."
— Rigel J. Dawson
“Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.”
— Evan Esar
“God in his wisdom made the fly, And then forgot to tell us why.”
- Ogden Nash.
“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid."
- Mark Twain
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"You have no reason to fear zombies, do you?"
Anonymous
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“Best friends know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.”
— Unknown
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“An addiction to gardening is not all bad when you consider all the other choices in life.”
— Cora Lea Bell
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“Yoga is too slow.” — Rob Gronkowski
"The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible."
— Jean Kerr
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
"Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!"
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. -- G. K. Chesterton
“How to get a yoga body: 1. Have a body 2. Do yoga.” – Unknown
"True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen." — Francois de la Rochefoucauld
"I hate mornings, they start so early."
— Janet Evanovich
“They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.” — Alexander Pope
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“Beverly Hills is very exclusive. For instance, their fire department won’t make house calls.”
Mort Sahl
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
― Margaret Mead
“When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day.” – Marty Buccella
“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
- Rodney Dangerfield.
“Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.”
-Russell Baker
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
“If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.” —Reese Witherspoon
“If you are not killing plants, you are not really stretching yourself as a gardener.”
— J.C. Raulston
Go to BabaMail
