“Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.” —Michael Dresser
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
"I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception."
“Yoga is almost like music in a way; there’s no end to it.” — Sting
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry." — Rita Rudner
"I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty."
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
— Winston Churchill
“Weeds are nature’s graffiti.”
— Janice Maeditere
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“Thanks to yoga, I now gently stretch to conclusions rather than jumping to them.” – Unknown
“Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” –Harry Morgan
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
“People that cheat on their taxes truly disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents in.”
“Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings … and lawyers.”—Richard Pryor
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“Trying to do your own taxes is like a do-it-yourself mugging.”
"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again."
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
"I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?" - Jean Illsely Clarke
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.” – @ramblinma
"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met."
- Steven Wright
"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on." — Joan Rivers
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."
“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
Ben Williams
"My idea of camping is falling asleep on the couch with the window open."
- Clarke Kant
"I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth." — Chico Marx
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West
“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”
- Marcelina Hardy
“What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” - Cindy Garner
“When I figured out how to work my grill, it was quite a moment. I discovered that summer is a completely different experience when you know how to grill.”
— Taylor Swift
“People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.”
Betty White
“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.”
- Sam Levenson
“Smiling is mouth yoga.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
“Best Friend: One million memories, ten thousand inside jokes, one hundred shared secrets.”
— Unknown
"Love is sharing your popcorn."
- Charles Schultz.
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
“I think yoga should be for everyone, not just the folks who change their name to something Hindu.” — Tara Stiles
If there were no God, there would be no atheists. -- G. K. Chesterton
"A man should never plant a garden larger than his wife can take care of."
- T.H. Everett
“All kidding aside, if everyone did yoga, we would have world peace.” — Rory Freedman
“I meditate and do yoga. I sit cross-legged and try not to levitate too much.” – Jeremy Brett
“Nurse: handing me a newborn You got this? Me: Sometimes I have to dig through the trash to re-read the instructions for mac ‘n’ cheese” – @mommy_cusses
“The road to success is always under construction.”
"Lose an hour in the morning and you will spend all day looking for it." — Richard Whately
“Winter is nature’s way of saying, ‘Up yours.’”
“Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it’s natural.”
- Shaquille O’Neal
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