"I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society."
— George W. Bush
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.”
- Emo Phillips.
“I’m glad it’s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.”
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“The smallest snowstorm on record took place an hour ago in my back yard. It was approximately two flakes. I waited for more to fall, but that was it.”
― Richard Brautigan
“Sagittarians are aliens disguised as humans.”
— Ramana Pemmaraju
"This is by far your worst idea ever…I’ll be there in 15 minutes."
— Unknown
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
"A Cancer's bed is their sanctuary. Therefore, if you can't find them, look under the down comforter."
— Unknown
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.” — Ambrose Bierce
"If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal."
— Oprah Winfrey
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
"The Thankstini: A fun and delicious new novelty drink I invented. Cranberry juice, potato vodka, and a bouillon cube. Tastes just like a turkey dinner." -Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
“You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.”
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children; now I have six children and no theories.”—John Wilmot
“The Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.”
– George Bernard Shaw
“I’m a Capricorn and I’m mad loyal — mad loyal! — and I will always look for the good in people.”
— Jeannie Mai
"Some children threaten to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going." – Phyllis Diller
“There. Right there is where you lost your darn mind!”
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”
Les Dawson
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.”—Pam Brown
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen
"Yoga class helps me calm down from the agonizing stress of trying to get to yoga class on time."
– Sadhguru
"Love thy neighbor, just watch out for thy husband." - Unknown
“Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.”
- Paul Reiser.
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
— Anonymous
“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?”
- Jerry Seinfeld.
"Run like there's a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you."
Unknown
"Women should be obscene and not heard."
"I intend to live forever, or die trying."
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
“I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.”
— Soupy Sales
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
“If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one.” —Andrew A. Rooney
"Run like hell and get the agony over with."
Clarence DeMar
"The philosopher who said that work well done never needs doing over never weeded a garden."
- Ray D. Everson
“Usually the triumph of my day is, you know, everybody making it to the potty.”
- Julia Roberts.
"Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you." - Ogden Nash
“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.”
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Lana Turner
Go to BabaMail
