“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern…like bad wallpaper.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche.
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
"Good things come slow. Especially in distance running."
Bill Dellinger
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
"If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough."
― Phyllis Diller
"Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield."
— Catherynne Valente
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.”—Rodney Dangerfield
"Finland has produced so many brilliant distance runners because back home it costs $2.50 a gallon for gas."
Esa Tikkannen
"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
Housework is for people who don’t know how to garden.”
— Anonymous
"It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it."
Brooks Johnson
Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it
— Author Unknown
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.” —Dave Barry
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
— Winston Churchill
“Camping is not a date; its an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home.”
“When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as ‘psychopaths’, and then the rest of us.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
“You know that just before the first Thanksgiving there was one wise old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.” —Dylan Brody
“If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, ‘Man, just be yourself.'” —Mitch Hedberg
“There’s no such thing as bad weather, just soft people.”
– Bill Bowerman
“New pick-up line to try today: “Hey, are you a turkey? Because I want to gobble you up and then fall asleep.” — Rebel Wilson
"Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?"
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“Marathoners: Life is too easy. I must find a way to make it much much harder.”
-Glennon Doyle, best-selling author
"The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass."
Martin Mull
“In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced in television.”
- Erma Bombeck.
“I really regret going to a Yoga class today… said no one ever.” — Unknown
"You have no reason to fear zombies, do you?"
Anonymous
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.”
- George Bernard Shaw
“The more you’re loving and understanding, the more your kids will sing.”
- Maxime Lagacé
“What Yoga really is… Spending an entire hour trying not to fart.”— Anonymous
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“I’ve noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse.”
- Dave Barry.
"If she happens to fall, I’ll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards." — J.A. Redmerski
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
"The philosopher who said that work well done never needs doing over never weeded a garden."
- Ray D. Everson
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
“Some people walk in the rain; others just get wet.” – Roger Miller
“Almost every Aquarius is a rebel. Give them a guide and they won’t follow it. Tell them there’s a dress code and they’ll show up wearing nothing at all.”
— Alex Dimitrov and Dorothea Lasky
“Mountains have a way of dealing with overconfidence.” – Hermann Buhl
“Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher
“When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.”
- Emo Phillips.
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
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