“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
Robin Williams
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.”
Tina Fey
“Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other so they have less time to spend annoying you.”—Unknown
"It's funny when people think 'yoga people' are supposed to be calm. No. We're all here because we're nuts." — Unknown
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
"A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows."
- Doug Larson
"Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke." - Lynda Barry
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
“A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.”—Lois Wyse
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
"Humor is reason gone mad."
“July is a blind date with summer.”
– Hal Borland
A weed is a plant that is not only in the wrong place but intends to stay.”
— Sara Stein
"So I stepped away for like two seconds…” – the beginning of every parenting horror story." — Anonymous
“She is the only evidence of God I have seen, with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.”- St Elmo's Fire
“A day without yoga is like a sundae without sprinkles” — Emma Mildon
“Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million-dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.”
- Jim Bishop.
"What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to his home selling vacuum cleaners? Too many attachments!"
- Sadhana Yoga
"Do you wake up as I do, having forgotten what it is that hurts or where, until you move?"
– Jeanette Winterson
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” —Robert Benchley
I’m sure wherever my dad is he’s looking down on us… he’s not dead… just very condescending.
Jack Whitehall
“The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments."
- Mad Magazine
"No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early"
“They say that there can never be two snowflakes that are exactly alike, but has anyone checked lately?”
– Terry Pratchett
“Winter is like fall except you need five pairs of leggings instead of one.”
“You want to know what it’s like having a fourth kid? Imagine you’re drowning, then someone hands you a baby.”
- Jim Gaffigan.
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
Sir Norman Wisdom
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“Once you sign on to be a mother, 24/7 is the only shift they offer.”
- Jodi Picoult.
"The closer you are to nature the further you are from idiots.”
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society."
— George W. Bush
“I’m totally ‘that dad’ who leaves a note in my son’s lunch box. One day I’ll actually start putting food in there also.”
- Steve Ryan.
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
I don’t think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
Frank Carson
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“I thought I’d never be that annoying person, but as soon as Winnie was born, I was showing iPhone snaps to a cab driver.”
- Jimmy Fallon.
Go to BabaMail
