“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly