"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
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