“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
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