"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
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