“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
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