“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
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