“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen