"Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it." — Phyllis Schlafly
"I went home with this French guy ’cause he said something adorable, like, ‘I have an apartment.’" — Amy Schumer
"Love is sharing your popcorn."
- Charles Schultz.
"Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight." – Phyllis Diller
"You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale." — Hussein Nishah
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." — David Sedaris
"I love you more than coffee but not always before coffee." - Unknown
"The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman." — Samuel Taylor Coleridge
"It's fun to complain with someone. Nothing brings us together more than complaining about other people. That might be the thing that holds us together more than anything." Lew Schneider
"Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome."
- Oscar Levant
"Between men and women, there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship."
- Oscar Wilde
"It wasn't love at first sight. It took a full five minutes." Lucille Ball
"When a man of forty falls in love with a woman of twenty, it isn’t her youth he is seeking but his own." — Lenore Coffee
"Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me, but then I remember I put up with you, so we're even." - Unknown
"People should fall in love with their eyes closed."
- Andy Warhol
"If you text 'I love you' to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don't love you back."
- Chelsea Peretti
"Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses."
- Thomas Dewar
"Love thy neighbor—and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier." - Mae West
"Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing."
- Natasha Leggero
"Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one." — Benjamin Franklin
"Women love a self-confident bald man."
- Larry David.
"I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth." — Chico Marx
"True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen." — Francois de la Rochefoucauld
"They say true love hides in every corner. I must be walking in circles." - Unknown
"When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life."
- Richard Lewis
"He was happily married - but his wife wasn't."
- Victor Borge
“It’s the 21st century. I don’t need an alpha male to protect me. I don’t need a big, strong man to fight off a tiger. I need a geek who can get my naked photos off the cloud.” — Whitney Cummings
"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on." — Joan Rivers
"I love you with all my belly. I would say my heart, but my belly is bigger." - Unknown
"Love is being stupid together." - Paul Valery
"Oh, here's an idea: Let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day. That's not weird at all." - Jimmy Fallon
“I was like, 'Am I gay? Am I straight?' And I realized... I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?” — Margaret Cho
"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby — awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess." — Lemony Snicket
"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties." — Jules Renard
“Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women; a little bit of support and a little bit of freedom.” - Jerry Seinfeld
“I just want to be friends. Plus a little extra. Also, I love you.” - Dwight Schrute, 'The Office'
"Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. Now who's asking the questions?" — Jack Handy
"The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired." — Milton Berle
"My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan."
- Leopold Fechner.
"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks." — Steve Martin
“A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.” - Phyllis Diller
“I didn’t fall for you, you tripped me!” - Jenny Han, 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before'
"If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books." — Alan King
"I asked my dad once, ‘How did you and Mum stay married for 33 years?’ And he said, ‘Well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time.'"
- Gwyneth Paltrow
"Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage."
- Ambrose Bierce
"True love is singing karaoke 'Under Pressure' and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part." Mindy Kaling
"A good marriage is like a casserole: Only those responsible for it really know what goes in it." - Unknown
"So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea." - King Jaffe Joffer, 'Coming to America'
“A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.” - Jane Austen, 'Pride and Prejudice'
"What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds."
- Cindy Garner.
Go to BabaMail
