"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there."
- Jim Gaffigan
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
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